4 Tips for Telling Your Children About Your Divorce

 Posted on July 16, 2019 in Divorce

Divorce is full of difficult situations. Even making the decision to get a divorce can seem impossible. Perhaps one of the hardest situations that you will have to deal with during your divorce is breaking the news to your children. Depending on your circumstances, your children may already suspect that something is awry. If there has been constant fighting in the house, your children are likely aware of the fact that you and your spouse are unhappy. There is no way to predict how your children will react to the news of a divorce; each child processes and copes with the news differently. Though this can be a difficult time for everyone, here are a few tips to help you tell your children that you and your spouse are getting divorced:

Act as a Team

This may be difficult for some couples, but telling the children about your decision as a team can make a world of difference. Even if the decision to divorce was not mutual, it is important that the children see that you and your spouse can still work together. After all, you will always have a common connection -- your children. 

Plan What You Will Say

This is one conversation that you do not want to make up as you go along. You and your spouse should sit down and plan out some talking points that you want to get across when you tell the kids that you are getting divorced. You both should be sure that your child understands that the divorce is not their fault, but rather a matter between you and your spouse. You should also remind your kids that you both love them very much, regardless of your marital state.

Tell Everyone at Once

Many parents believe that informing older children about divorce before telling the younger kids is the best strategy. While this may be true in certain situations, parents who do this may put their older child in the unfair position of keeping a serious secret from their siblings. A younger child will also receive the message that they are not old enough to handle these kinds of issues. At the end of the day, it is best to tell all of your children together in a family gathering.

Be Prepared to Answer Questions

No two children are going to react the same way to a divorce. Some kids may appear to be unbothered, while others may see this as the worst thing that has ever happened to them. In most cases, children will have many questions after learning that you and your spouse are filing for divorce. These questions may be immediate, or they may come later, but you should be prepared to answer any inquiries about living arrangements and life changes.

Contact a Compassionate DuPage County Divorce Attorney

The conversation you have with your child when you tell them that you and your spouse are getting divorced is one that they are likely to remember for the rest of their life. At the Goostree Law Group, we understand how difficult the divorce process can be on both you and your children. Working with our skilled Wheaton, IL divorce lawyers can help take the legal stress off your shoulders, allowing you to focus on your children and yourself. Call our office today at 630-364-4046 to schedule a free consultation.

Sources:

https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/children/how-to-tell-your-kids-that-you-are-getting-a-divorce/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-older-dad/201105/mom-and-dad-have-something-tell-you-six-tips-talking-kids-about-divorce

https://www.mother.ly/life/how-to-gently-talk-to-your-kids-about-divorce