How to Tell Your Spouse That You Want to End Your Marriage

 Posted on June 30, 2020 in Divorce

“I want a divorce.” Those four words, small as they are, have the power to break a person’s heart or set him or her free—depending on who is saying them. When you have finally made the decision that you no longer want to be married to your spouse, it can feel like a sigh of relief. Telling your spouse about your decision, however, will likely be one of the most important, yet difficult conversations of both of your lives. The approach that you take when having this conversation could set the tone for the entire divorce and even though nobody wants to have this conversation, it is one that needs to take place. If you are thinking of separating from or divorcing your spouse, here are some things you should keep in mind:

• Make sure you mean what you say. You should not tell your spouse that you want a divorce unless you are certain that is actually what you want. If you are unsure of whether or not you are ready for a divorce, but you know that you are unhappy, you should talk to your spouse about why you are unhappy and how it can be fixed. Once you are fairly certain you would like to proceed with a separation or divorce, then it would be appropriate to bring it up.

• Set the scene for the conversation. Talking to your spouse about your divorce will likely be one of the most complicated conversations of your life. You should do your best not to ambush your spouse with this conversation. If you can, plan a time and a place for you and your spouse to talk. Many times, talking in the privacy of your home is the most comfortable, but if you are scared for your safety, you may want to have the conversation in a public place, such as a coffee shop, or with a friend or family member nearby.

• Keep the conversation direct and focused. Nothing will be gained if you use this conversation to list all of the ways your spouse has made you angry during your marriage. When you are describing to your spouse the reasons why you have made your decision, you should keep focused on the big picture and your mutual unhappiness. Even when a divorce is more one-sided, both of you are likely not entirely happy with the marriage.

Contact Our DuPage County Divorce Attorney

Making the decision to get a divorce is a big step. In some cases, a separation can be beneficial in helping to heal a marriage or to be used as a stepping stone if you are not quite ready for divorce. At the Goostree Law Group, our team of lawyers has more than 80 years of combined family law experience and will help you through every step of your divorce. To schedule a free consultation, call our Wheaton divorce lawyers today at 630-364-4046.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/divorce-grownups/200911/telling-your-spouse-you-want-divorce

https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/tell-wife-you-want-divorce/

https://www.mydomaine.com/how-to-tell-your-spouse-you-want-a-divorce-1102935